This is a topic that, for whatever reason, seems to cause a lot of controversy. I'm not sure why it is, but it seems like almost everyone who practices DD can fall into one of these 3 categories: completely agrees with boot camp, completely disagrees with boot camp, or is completely in the dark. There doesn't seem to be a lot of "middle ground".
For those of you who fall into the "completely in the dark" category, I'm providing a little "boot camp" outline for you. Obviously this doesn't include every single boot camp detail (because that would take me forever) but hopefully this helps.
I'd also like to say that there are many different ways to do boot camp. This is just one of them, but because it's the way that my husband and I did, it's obviously the only one I have personal experience with.
So, what is boot camp?
Boot camp is basically a multiple day (the HoH determines the length. I've heard of some couples doing it for 1 day, and some for as long as a week. My husband and I did it for 2 days.) "training" so to speak. The HoH determines the rules and punishments (which often times are more severe or more "out of the ordinary" than the typical rules/punishments the wife would have) and, in addition to the rules and punishments, there are homework assignments and random punishments (that don't necessarily have an offense tied to them) with "lessons" behind each one.
What is the reason a couple would want to do boot camp?
The goal is hopefully that at the end of boot camp you and your spouse feel closer together and have more defined roles. In addition, it helps the wife to be more respectful of both her spouse and the rules, and to increase trust. These outcomes often convince a couple who already has domestic discipline in their marriage to try and improve it.
How does boot camp work?
Boot camp is comprised of the following..
- Punishments (for breaking the rules set forth during boot camp, and a seperate set of punishments with "lessons" behind each of them).
- Homework assignments.
- Communication building exercises (usually this comes from the couple discussing the homework assignments after they're completed, etc.)
Each day of boot camp contains 4 spankings. These spankings range from mild to severe, and each one has a lesson behind it (no complaining, hold still, no reaching your hand back/kicking/making it more difficult on your husband, and understanding that it could always be worse).
Each day also consists of 4 homework assignments. Some of these are individual ones that just the wife does, and some are ones that both the wife and husband do together. There is a pretty long list of homework assignments that the HoH can choose from prior to boot camp beginning, but some examples of them are listing qualities you love about your spouse, listing ways that DD has helped to improve your marriage, etc. These are always written assignments (usually 1-2 pages long).
In addition to the homework assignments and spankings, each day the wife is supposed to "practice obeying" by not responding "no" to any of her husbands requests. Failure to do so would result in immediate punishment of whatever the HoH chooses.
So, that pretty much sums it up. Obviously there is more in depth details that go along with this, but there's a basic overview of what boot camp is.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me and we can discuss it further.